This is How to build confidence

How to have a high self esteem

Why do the majority of people have a low self esteem?
While no single answer can be given to that question still i can confidently say that there is one factor that is responsible for the low self esteem of a very large percentage of people ,which is, putting a high weight to the opinion of others.

Some people do their best to please all the people they meet and then they monitor the reactions of others to know whether they managed to please them or not.

If others laughed or acknowledged their actions then they feel great else they feel really bad and even consider themselves worthless!!

Why those people will never have a high self esteem

Those people are the ones who usually feel worthless as soon as a person rejects them even if they have lots of other loving friends.

And since no one will be able to escape rejection those people usually feel unloved and rejected all the time.

Since those people try to prove that they are worthy to everyone they usually feel "worthless unless otherwise proven" whenever they meet a new person!!

Since they never have control of the way others perceive them their self esteem usually goes up and down in an unpredictable manner.

So how to have a high self esteem?

We don't collect data from the world then form beliefs but instead we collect the data that proves our existing beliefs true and filter all other data!!

This means that by assuming that you are not worthy you will always find clues that people dislike you and your self esteem will be very low.

The only way to have a high self esteem is to assume that you are worthy, likable, desirable and important before you even encounter people. Once you encounter them you will find yourself only collecting the data that proves that you are worthy.

So self confidence has nothing to do with being loved or hated but its all about the beliefs that you have about yourself

Believe that you are worthy and the whole world will prove it to you, this is the way your mind works so don't try to build self esteem otherwise.

But how can you believe that you are worthy?

One of the things I hate about many self help courses is that they tell you that you must change your beliefs about yourself without telling you how to do it and that's why I will tell you here how to believe that you are worthy

When you say a belief out loud your mind will usually respond back to you with all the opposing beliefs that you have if found.

This means that if you said out loud that you are worthy, for example by saying "I am worthy "Your mind will quickly reply with all the evidence that proves otherwise. For example if you said "I am worthy" out loud you will find yourself saying something  like "That's not true, if you are worthy then why you are such a loser when it comes to talking to the opposite sex"

The great news here is that this opposing belief is all what you need in order to change your beliefs about yourself.

Once you fix all the problems that created your opposing beliefs, like learning how to talk to the opposite sex in this case, your opposing beliefs will disappear and you will start believing that you are worthy.

Only then repeating affirmations such as I am worthy will work for you as there is nothing to oppose it